We officially have ONE HUNDRED contributing authors...I am simply humbled by your outpouring of support for this cause!! Thank you to each and every one of you who have signed up, tweeted & re-tweeted, blogged and done countless other things to promote FADV!!!
List of contributing AWESOMENESS...I mean Authors....
If you know of anyone else that would like to sign up please pass the info along...I am placing no limits on how late you can sign up....as long as you have your submission in by January 21, 2011...
Tell them to sign up here!
Thank you just isn't enough but it will have to suffice!
xx,
Blair
Friday, December 10, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
Unafraid
Domestic violence is one of those things that some people look at and say "I would never let myself get involved in a situation like that." Especially if you have seen another loved one involved in an abusive relationship. These types of situations can catch you by surprise. You think you have found the perfect mate. Miracle1901's personal story is a perfect example of that. It is also a perfect example of how, no matter how bad it gets, you can always find a way out.
"I watched my mother get beaten within an inch of her life by my step father. The same man who told me he would kill her if i told anyone what he was doing to me...i was seven years old. I believed him for 3 years he did things to me that i wont go into detail about. I finally told her what was happening. She left him and after a week of hiding in a hotel from him he was caught and sent to jail. He killed himself before he had to go to trial.
"I watched my mother get beaten within an inch of her life by my step father. The same man who told me he would kill her if i told anyone what he was doing to me...i was seven years old. I believed him for 3 years he did things to me that i wont go into detail about. I finally told her what was happening. She left him and after a week of hiding in a hotel from him he was caught and sent to jail. He killed himself before he had to go to trial.
I told myself I would never let a man hit me. I would would be able to see it coming because I knew what to look for. I always told myself that as I much as I love my mother I would never put myself in a situation like that."
Read more of Miracle1901's story on the Personal Stories page.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Strong
Domestic violence does not only occur between a boyfriend, husband or significant other. Parents can also inflict domestic violence. Mrowemoon was brave enough to share her story with me about the abuse that her father inflicted on her mother and the ensuing effect that it had on her. Fortunately her mother was also very courageous and was able to escape the violence she was a victim of.
"My story is not one of being a victim of domestic violence in the physical sense but I am an emotional victim. My father physically and mentally abused my mother for many years. They were married for just shy of 10 years when my mother finally found the courage to divorce my father. He actually made it pretty easy as he found another woman to victimize. I was exactly 10 years old when they split (apparently I was born just before they were married). My father was an alcoholic. When he drank, the beast came out. When he was sober, he was playful, loving and attentive father. My father's anger was alway directed at my mother. Thankfully he never laid a hand on me nor my younger brother."
Read more of Mrowemoon's story over on the Personal Stories page.
"My story is not one of being a victim of domestic violence in the physical sense but I am an emotional victim. My father physically and mentally abused my mother for many years. They were married for just shy of 10 years when my mother finally found the courage to divorce my father. He actually made it pretty easy as he found another woman to victimize. I was exactly 10 years old when they split (apparently I was born just before they were married). My father was an alcoholic. When he drank, the beast came out. When he was sober, he was playful, loving and attentive father. My father's anger was alway directed at my mother. Thankfully he never laid a hand on me nor my younger brother."
Read more of Mrowemoon's story over on the Personal Stories page.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Determination
Here is yet another amazing story about overcoming a domestic violence relationship. When I read Alicia's story, it hit really close to home, as it really relates closely to my own personal experience with being in an abusive relationship. It also shows that this can happen to anyone. But that anyone can overcome a horrible situation with the support and strength from those around them.
"About two decades ago, usually on a Thursday at four o’clock there would be an After
School Special. It was an hour show on anything from drugs to pregnancy. I guess you
could say it was a PSA for latch-key kids. My dad was usually home by that time and
would often watch them with my sisters and I. Anytime one of the shows was about a boy
beating or verbally abusing his girlfriend, sister, friend, whatever, he would look at the
three of us and say, “You see that? That is not right. You do not ever let that happen to
you.”
We would all agree because he’s our dad and he knows everything. Besides it didn’t look
like fun. So we swore that would never be us. I grew up with three sets of grandparents
and to me this was normal, I didn’t really get that it was different. As I got older I found
out why my dad was so vehemently against domestic violence. His mom, after she
was divorced from his dad, had been in several abusive relationships. I never asked
for details or anything like that from my father. He rarely doled out information about
his upbringing so any piece of information was just taken and analyzed. My grandma
didn’t really want me is the thing. So he lived with relatives or in foster homes a lot. This
doesn’t mean that she deserved what had happened but I see the impact it had on my
father. He wasn’t just trying to just arm his daughters with the knowledge that it is wrong
to hit women. He was trying to save another child from possibly having to go through
what he did."
Read more of Wytchwmn75's story on the Personal Stories page.
*Alicia has offered to talk to anyone privately who is currently dealing with domestic violence. Feel free to contact her via twitter @wytchwmn75
"About two decades ago, usually on a Thursday at four o’clock there would be an After
School Special. It was an hour show on anything from drugs to pregnancy. I guess you
could say it was a PSA for latch-key kids. My dad was usually home by that time and
would often watch them with my sisters and I. Anytime one of the shows was about a boy
beating or verbally abusing his girlfriend, sister, friend, whatever, he would look at the
three of us and say, “You see that? That is not right. You do not ever let that happen to
you.”
We would all agree because he’s our dad and he knows everything. Besides it didn’t look
like fun. So we swore that would never be us. I grew up with three sets of grandparents
and to me this was normal, I didn’t really get that it was different. As I got older I found
out why my dad was so vehemently against domestic violence. His mom, after she
was divorced from his dad, had been in several abusive relationships. I never asked
for details or anything like that from my father. He rarely doled out information about
his upbringing so any piece of information was just taken and analyzed. My grandma
didn’t really want me is the thing. So he lived with relatives or in foster homes a lot. This
doesn’t mean that she deserved what had happened but I see the impact it had on my
father. He wasn’t just trying to just arm his daughters with the knowledge that it is wrong
to hit women. He was trying to save another child from possibly having to go through
what he did."
Read more of Wytchwmn75's story on the Personal Stories page.
*Alicia has offered to talk to anyone privately who is currently dealing with domestic violence. Feel free to contact her via twitter @wytchwmn75
Friday, November 12, 2010
Fearless
I have a bunch of personal stories to post...I will try to post at least one a day, if I can. If you would like to submit your story, please email fandomagainstdomesticviolence@gmail.com. I have a few anonymous ones, so your name does not have to be posted. I will only post what you are comfortable submitting. Here is Isabelle's story. It is one of courage and strength. It shows that even in the face of fear and death threats, you can survive. You can get out. It's not easy, but it is possible.
"I met my ex I was 23. Everything went great for a few years but I should have seen the signs. Now, I know I saw them but chose to ignore them.
My ex is an alcoholic and a drug user. At first, it was a couple of beers and a joint every day but hey, we were young and I didn't see a problem with it. Of course, I should have noticed something was wrong when we moved in together and that he had a column in his budget for beer and weed. Again, I guess I chose to ignore it.
I got pregnant a few years into our relationship and that's when the problems started.
I remember being 5 months pregnant and him pushing me off the bed. I'll always remember that but the next day, he said he was sorry and that he was drunk when he did it. It shouldn't have excused what he did but I forgave him. Next, came the insults. I was fat because I was pregnant and he started to squeeze my arms when dinner was not done to his satisfaction or if I complained because he wanted to go out and I didn't feel like it. Of course, I loved him so I'd just shut up and let him go out and get drunk. Then, he'd come back home (if he did) and would shake the bed until I'd wake up because his libido was on full alert. I won't go into details but let's just say that what happened wasn't pleasant.
The insults, arm squeezes and sexual intimidation continued after I was pregnant. When I gave in to the sex, he was like a kitten but if I was too tired, there was hell to pay. The fat comments turned into slut, bitch etc and now, I would get kicked when something wasn't going his way. All along, his alcohol and drug problems escalated and like any woman in that kind of relationship, I thought it was my fault. So, I'd make sure the house was clean, food was hot and always his favorites and gave him sex whenever he wanted thinking that it would smooth things out but it never did."
Read more of Isabelle's story on the Personal Stories page.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Brave
I have been receiving an INFLUX of amazing personal stories through email. I want to thank each one of you for your bravery in sharing your stories. They are each amazing and show how important this cause is. Here is Christag_Banner's story. It is real and intense. I admire her immensely for allowing me to post it here.
"Fall of 1990
I met the man of my dreams. Or so I thought. He started out sweet and kind. Don't they all? He was older than I. I was just a junior in high school and he had graduated the year before.
Things were fine for a few months. We dated like everyone else. I honestly don't remember the exact day or even why he hit me the first time. I do remember being hit in the eye. And panicking on how I would hide it from my mother later on. From then on it was a regular occurrence and he learnt how to hit me and hurt me where no one would see the evidence.
I remember being frightened to leave. When I would tell him I was leaving him, breaking up with him, he would hit me more. When I finally got used to being hit I started to fight back. That is when he started with the threats that if I were to tell anyone about his abuse or if I were to leave him he would hurt my family."
Read more of Christa G.'s story on the Personal Stories page.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Courageous
When I first started this venture, Lulu was one of the first people to contact me and sign up. Before this I did not know her at all. In the past week, I feel as though I have gotten to know her extremely well. Not only has she helped me organize this site, but she was one of the first to tell me about her story involving domestic violence. She offered willingly to share her story here. After reading it and talking to her, she is one courageous woman.
"When I was 16 years old I met who I believed was the love of my life. I was young, a junior in high school, and I had been single for almost two years. I know that 16 is far too young to be in a serious relationship. I know this now, but at that age I wanted to be committed and have that high school sweetheart relationship. I put up with arguing and fighting for the next two years. I never thought that I would find myself stuck in a toxic relationship that would ultimately change my entire life. That it would change ME.
I lost all interest in things I loved. I quit dance classes, I quit painting, I quit playing piano and guitar...I just gave up. I focused all of my time and energy on trying to fix this relationship. I tried everything, because this boy (I can't call him a man.) thoroughly convinced me that it was all my fault. He broke me down, and made me believe that I was worth nothing. I believed him."
Read more of Lulu's story on the Personal Stories page.
"When I was 16 years old I met who I believed was the love of my life. I was young, a junior in high school, and I had been single for almost two years. I know that 16 is far too young to be in a serious relationship. I know this now, but at that age I wanted to be committed and have that high school sweetheart relationship. I put up with arguing and fighting for the next two years. I never thought that I would find myself stuck in a toxic relationship that would ultimately change my entire life. That it would change ME.
I lost all interest in things I loved. I quit dance classes, I quit painting, I quit playing piano and guitar...I just gave up. I focused all of my time and energy on trying to fix this relationship. I tried everything, because this boy (I can't call him a man.) thoroughly convinced me that it was all my fault. He broke me down, and made me believe that I was worth nothing. I believed him."
Read more of Lulu's story on the Personal Stories page.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Hero
Ms. Maroon is my best friend. We met through the fandom and bonded over football, fashion & hot boys. She makes me laugh. She let's me vent when I am upset. She is my rock. And today she is my hero. She expressed wanting to share her own personal story with domestic violence. You can find her story below.
"I used to be the kind of girl that had a twinkle in her eye. Not because I had rosey cheeks, but because my outlook on life was rosey. I trusted a person from the get-go and always thought of you as friend upon our “meet-cute”. There was always a smile on my face, and pep in my step. I was happy because that was just the way that I was. It wasn’t even something that I had to think about.
I’m not that way anymore.
I’m not as trusting as I used to be. At one time in my life, my joy was replaced with anger and resentment. I didn’t get to be this way on my own; mainly because... I guess you could say... my joy was taken from me."
Read more of Ms. Maroon's story on the Personal Stories page.
"I used to be the kind of girl that had a twinkle in her eye. Not because I had rosey cheeks, but because my outlook on life was rosey. I trusted a person from the get-go and always thought of you as friend upon our “meet-cute”. There was always a smile on my face, and pep in my step. I was happy because that was just the way that I was. It wasn’t even something that I had to think about.
I’m not that way anymore.
I’m not as trusting as I used to be. At one time in my life, my joy was replaced with anger and resentment. I didn’t get to be this way on my own; mainly because... I guess you could say... my joy was taken from me."
Read more of Ms. Maroon's story on the Personal Stories page.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Information
I have been getting A LOT of questions regarding this fundraiser so now I am going to try to answer some of them here:
xoxo,
b
- As a contributing author, you get an advanced copy of the compilation before it is sent to people who are making donations. You may also donate monetarily if you choose, but you are not required since you are donating your time by writing a story.
- If you sign up now as a contributing author and at a later date you feel like you cannot commit to writing something by the deadline, you can DEFINITELY back out. No hard feelings. This is a FUNdraiser and meant to be just that....FUN! No stress! I know all to well how real life can get in the way. Just be sure to shoot an email to fandomagainstdomesticviolence@gmail.com so that we can take you off the list and not harass you about your submission :)
- Authors can write whatever genre they choose. There are no limits here. It can be TwiFic, PotterFic, Original fic, poetry, a brand new one-shot, a side-shot/future-shot of a story you already write. WHATEVER you choose!!! Again....there are no limits! This is one thing I love about the fandom...the endless creativity. So I would LOVE to see what everyone comes up with!!
- For those who just wish to donate money: the minimum donation is $10. That is dictated by the NCADV donation site. You are more than welcome to donate more if you would like. This donation gets you the ENTIRE compilation, meaning you will receive EVERY SINGLE story involved in the compilation!!! There is no bidding on individual stories. This is not a contest. This is for fun and to raise money and awareness for The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
- I am also working on coming up with some other ideas....maybe having artists contribute digital work to add....or if you want to create something handmade for people to bid on. I want to be able to include more than just authors in this venture. So if you are an artist or creative person who feels they are not a writer PLEASE PLEASE contact me with your thoughts and ideas fandomagainstdomesticviolence@gmail.com. I am open to new ideas.
xoxo,
b
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Unbelievable
I am seriously BLOWN away by the outpouring and support to this cause. In just ONE day a total of TWENTY-TWO amazing, wonderful and talented authors have signed up to contribute!! I have gotten TONS of emails from people who don't write but just want to help. You are helping simply by retweeting information. Every little bit helps!!!
I have also received a few emails from people who have personal experience with domestic violence. Whether it was the person being directly involved or someone close to them, it just goes to show you how important this cause is. I am so honored, humbled and happy to have so many people getting behind it as well.
This is a cause that is very close to me so I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the support.
I love each and every one of you dearly!! Keep spreading the message!! I love seeing when new people sign up....it brings happy tears to my eyes :)
xoxo,
b
I have also received a few emails from people who have personal experience with domestic violence. Whether it was the person being directly involved or someone close to them, it just goes to show you how important this cause is. I am so honored, humbled and happy to have so many people getting behind it as well.
This is a cause that is very close to me so I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the support.
I love each and every one of you dearly!! Keep spreading the message!! I love seeing when new people sign up....it brings happy tears to my eyes :)
xoxo,
b
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Welcome
Thanks for visiting the Fandom Against Domestic Violence blog. Feel free to browse around and check out the links above.
This all started from my little story, True Love Way. I wanted to do something to give back from my writing. My story involved domestic violence issues so I decided that for each review/author alert/story alert/story favorite I received that I would donate $.10 of my own personal money to NCADV. So far I have raised almost $200 just from that little venture. But I know we can do more!
If you're an author that would like to contribute, fill out the Author Sign-up form above. Submissions are due by January 21, 2011. Stories do not necessarily have to revolve around domestic violence issues. They can be oneshots, outtakes, original stories or whatever you feel like contributing.
Donations will be done directly through the NCADV website (you can find a link under "How to Donate" above) from February 1-28, 2011. The minimum donation is $10 but you will receive a lovely compilation of stories from various authors who took the time out of their busy schedules to write something just for this fundraiser.
If there is any other way that you would like to creatively contribute please feel free to email fandomagainstdomesticviolence@gmail.com
Also, I am probably going to need some help managing all this, so if you are willing to work on a team with me to get this ball rolling feel free to email me at the email above!!
Thanks again for all the support!!!
xoxo,
buhbeesgirl
Follow Fandom Against Domestic Violence on Twitter @FansAgainstDV
This all started from my little story, True Love Way. I wanted to do something to give back from my writing. My story involved domestic violence issues so I decided that for each review/author alert/story alert/story favorite I received that I would donate $.10 of my own personal money to NCADV. So far I have raised almost $200 just from that little venture. But I know we can do more!
If you're an author that would like to contribute, fill out the Author Sign-up form above. Submissions are due by January 21, 2011. Stories do not necessarily have to revolve around domestic violence issues. They can be oneshots, outtakes, original stories or whatever you feel like contributing.
Donations will be done directly through the NCADV website (you can find a link under "How to Donate" above) from February 1-28, 2011. The minimum donation is $10 but you will receive a lovely compilation of stories from various authors who took the time out of their busy schedules to write something just for this fundraiser.
If there is any other way that you would like to creatively contribute please feel free to email fandomagainstdomesticviolence@gmail.com
Also, I am probably going to need some help managing all this, so if you are willing to work on a team with me to get this ball rolling feel free to email me at the email above!!
Thanks again for all the support!!!
xoxo,
buhbeesgirl
Follow Fandom Against Domestic Violence on Twitter @FansAgainstDV
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