Determination

Here is yet another amazing story about overcoming a domestic violence relationship. When I read Alicia's story, it hit really close to home, as it really relates closely to my own personal experience with being in an abusive relationship. It also shows that this can happen to anyone. But that anyone can overcome a horrible situation with the support and strength from those around them. 

"About two decades ago, usually on a Thursday at four o’clock there would be an After
School Special. It was an hour show on anything from drugs to pregnancy. I guess you
could say it was a PSA for latch-key kids. My dad was usually home by that time and
would often watch them with my sisters and I. Anytime one of the shows was about a boy
beating or verbally abusing his girlfriend, sister, friend, whatever, he would look at the
three of us and say, “You see that? That is not right. You do not ever let that happen to
you.”

We would all agree because he’s our dad and he knows everything. Besides it didn’t look
like fun. So we swore that would never be us. I grew up with three sets of grandparents
and to me this was normal, I didn’t really get that it was different. As I got older I found
out why my dad was so vehemently against domestic violence. His mom, after she
was divorced from his dad, had been in several abusive relationships. I never asked
for details or anything like that from my father. He rarely doled out information about
his upbringing so any piece of information was just taken and analyzed. My grandma
didn’t really want me is the thing. So he lived with relatives or in foster homes a lot. This
doesn’t mean that she deserved what had happened but I see the impact it had on my
father. He wasn’t just trying to just arm his daughters with the knowledge that it is wrong
to hit women. He was trying to save another child from possibly having to go through
what he did."

Read more of Wytchwmn75's story on the Personal Stories page.

*Alicia has offered to talk to anyone privately who is currently dealing with domestic violence. Feel free to contact her via twitter @wytchwmn75 

Fearless

I have a bunch of personal stories to post...I will try to post at least one a day, if I can. If you would like to submit your story, please email fandomagainstdomesticviolence@gmail.com. I have a few anonymous ones, so your name does not have to be posted. I will only post what you are comfortable submitting. Here is Isabelle's story. It is one of courage and strength. It shows that even in the face of fear and death threats, you can survive. You can get out. It's not easy, but it is possible.

"I met my ex I was 23. Everything went great for a few years but I should have seen the signs. Now, I know I saw them but chose to ignore them.

 

My ex is an alcoholic and a drug user. At first, it was a couple of beers and a joint every day but hey, we were young and I didn't see a problem with it. Of course, I should have noticed something was wrong when we moved in together and that he had a column in his budget for beer and weed. Again, I guess I chose to ignore it.

 

I got pregnant a few years into our relationship and that's when the problems started.

 

I remember being 5 months pregnant and him pushing me off the bed. I'll always remember that but the next day, he said he was sorry and that he was drunk when he did it. It shouldn't have excused what he did but I forgave him. Next, came the insults. I was fat because I was pregnant and he started to squeeze my arms when dinner was not done to his satisfaction or if I complained because he wanted to go out and I didn't feel like it. Of course,  I loved him so I'd just shut up and let him go out and get drunk. Then, he'd come back home (if he did) and would shake the bed until I'd wake up because his libido was on full alert. I won't go into details but let's just say that what happened wasn't pleasant.

 

The insults, arm squeezes and sexual intimidation continued after I was pregnant. When I gave in to the sex, he was like a kitten but if I was too tired, there was hell to pay. The fat comments turned into slut, bitch etc and now, I would get kicked when something wasn't going his way. All along, his alcohol and drug problems escalated and like any woman in that kind of relationship, I thought it was my fault. So, I'd make sure the house was clean, food was hot and always his favorites and gave him sex whenever he wanted thinking that it would smooth things out but it never did."

 

Read more of Isabelle's story on the Personal Stories page.